Author Archive
Here are 11 haikus about Jason Kipnis for no reason in particular

Here are 11 haikus about Jason Kipnis for no reason in particular

Five o’clock shadow For a 7:05 start Kip’s ready to go   You must remember That we are all Kipnises Even you, Gilbert   Bat pointed silly Steadily blinking his eyes Jason Kipnis waits   Once an outfielder Now our team’s second baseman It’s Kip leading off   A towering drive Down the right field line it...
My mother died three years ago today, and I wanted you to know that.

My mother died three years ago today, and I wanted you to know that.

When I attempt to conjure up an image of her, she is always sick: skin dry and yellow, hair a mess, her limbs simultaneously a disconcerting amount of thin, yet bloated in the wrong parts. She comes to me in dreams the same, and it’s always clear she should not be there, that she has...
16 years later, Joey McKinstry lives on

16 years later, Joey McKinstry lives on

  We didn’t ride bikes too often, but that’s what I remember doing with Joey McKinstry. We would be out back behind his parents’ house, and he was fearlessly catching air off a ramp we set up, while I would, every now and again, go off the same ramp with far less courage. At some point...
So Can Vermont Beat Purdue, Or What?

So Can Vermont Beat Purdue, Or What?

Tonight! #4 Purdue vs. #13 Vermont, 7:27 p.m. TruTV (live from Milwaukee or some shit)  Last time we checked in with UVM hoops was five days ago, when they were gearing up for the America East championship final at home against Albany. I rather foolishly predicted Vermont to win easily, which was making me feel...
What To Know About The Vermont Catamounts, Aspiring America East Champs

What To Know About The Vermont Catamounts, Aspiring America East Champs

By my calculations, it’s been about five years since I wrote about the UVM basketball team. It’s also been about that long since I could consider myself someone who regularly followed the team – at the time, I was learning how to be a writer while covering the team for a now-defunct (but not wholly forgotten)...
16 Affordable Places You Won't Go If You're Young, Broke, And Currently Reading This

16 Affordable Places You Won’t Go If You’re Young, Broke, And Currently Reading This

A couple of years ago I wrote some vitriolic words clowning on a clickbait blog post called “50 Non-Cliched, Unpredictable Places To Travel To In Your 20s” because that shit was dumb as hell. Well, folks, it’s only so often that The Clown Show is forced out of retirement these days, but tonight was one such occasion,...
Pigskins, Eliteness, and Tom Brady the Fuck Boy: Your 2017 Super Bowl Mailbag

Pigskins, Eliteness, and Tom Brady the Fuck Boy: Your 2017 Super Bowl Mailbag

Hello and welcome! Glad you could make it. For the fourth year in a row, I took some questions from friends and answered them. This year, many of them actually have to do with the Super Bowl, which is a change of pace, but I’m all for it. As always, I look forward to being...

Vermont Public Radio Story

For WUNC
Just Like A Dream: Jason Kipnis Crushes Dong At Fenway Park

Just Like A Dream: Jason Kipnis Crushes Dong At Fenway Park

Show me show me show me how you do that Kip the one that makes me scream, she said the one that makes me laugh, she said and threw her arms around my neck …JUST LIKE A DREAM. Other fun Jason Kipnis antics at Fenway: Jason Kipnis, career at Fenway:
Ricky Bones

Ricky Bones

Ricky Bones.
Wayne Seldon's Uncle's Reaction Sums Up Dunks

Wayne Seldon’s Uncle’s Reaction Sums Up Dunks

Yesterday, Wayne Seldon dunked. His uncle reacted. This is everything I’ve ever felt, ever.
A List Of Quarterbacks I Would Prefer to Matt Saracen

A List Of Quarterbacks I Would Prefer to Matt Saracen

Matt Saracen throws a football like an art school-bound introvert who stutters too much and is not qualified to be the quarterback of a pee-wee team from Vermont, let alone the main snap-taker of a perennial state championship contender in Texas high school football. This is a in-exhaustive list of people or things I would...