Cleveland Browns
Mike Pettine Thinks Billy Cundiff Has Big Leg, Wasn't Worried About Devin Hester Lurking In End Zone (x2)

Mike Pettine Thinks Billy Cundiff Has Big Leg, Wasn’t Worried About Devin Hester Lurking In End Zone (x2)

The 2014 Cleveland Browns have now played four different games that ended on a last-second field goal. They are 2-2 on such occasions. They have been blown out by two sub-.500 teams from the AFC South. They rank in the bottom half of the NFL in team defense (DVOA), and team offense (weighted offense). They...
Andy Dalton Mic'd Up Was Fucking Incredible

Andy Dalton Mic’d Up Was Fucking Incredible

“Everyone just chill,” is exactly what I expect Andy Dalton to be saying in his motivational speeches on the sideline. Some genius on Twitter weighed in: Bad NFL lip reading doesn’t even need to do a voice over for that version of Andy Dalton mic’d up. That was impeccable. — TheClownShow (@The_Clown_Show) November 7, 2014 Brilliant...
"Colt McCoy Is A Winner"

“Colt McCoy Is A Winner”

I have to be honest with you. I fell for the Colt McCoy thing. I vividly remember him scrambling, keeping a play alive, getting to the outside against the Patriots defense and turning it into a 20+ 16-yard rushing touchdown. The dash culminated with an inspired headfirst dive, McCoy fully extending his arms, and the...
Josh Gordon Loves Country Music And That Is Why I Got Out Of Bed Today

Josh Gordon Loves Country Music And That Is Why I Got Out Of Bed Today

It has been two Country Fridays in a row that I trashed on garbage country songs, meaning we were due for some good news. Important: Josh Gordon is going to be catching football touchdowns later this season. That is really, really important. Equally important? Yesterday I found out Josh Gordon is a country music fan. As...
The Cleveland Browns, In A Screenshot

The Cleveland Browns, In A Screenshot

    God. Dammit.
Goddammit, Facebook, Is This Really My Life?

Goddammit, Facebook, Is This Really My Life?

  Come on, Facebook. You can’t possibly believe I’m interested in a Peyton Hillis Browns jersey. I’m just going to click this link, though, see what… wait, they are $19.99?! Goddammit, Facebook. That baby is going to look so good, sitting in the closet right next to my Johnny Football jersey. Especially in two years,...
Johnny Fucking Football Is At It Again, Drunkenly Talking Into A Stack Of Money As Though It Were A Phone

Johnny Fucking Football Is At It Again, Drunkenly Talking Into A Stack Of Money As Though It Were A Phone

Johnny Manziel. Johnny Football. Johnny Money. Johnny Cash. Johnny Stacks. Johnny Drunk-guy. Johnny Hero. Johnny Cleveland. Johnny “I-Can’t-Hear-You-There-Is-Too-Much-Money-In-My-Fucking-Hand”: Anything Johnny Football does in this video is obviously money, but his friends are the real heroes: echoing his thoughts, laughing, and generally making JFF feel like everything he does is Heisman-worthy. They are our insight into...
The Good, The Bad, and The Brandon Weeden: Another Cleveland Browns Season Has Finally Ended

The Good, The Bad, and The Brandon Weeden: Another Cleveland Browns Season Has Finally Ended

After week 10 of the NFL season, the Browns sat at 4-5 with a legitimate shot at making the playoffs. That is, they had a shot if they were any team other than the Cleveland Browns. Coming off that week’s 24-18 win against the Baltimore Ravens, I tweeted at a Ravens’ fan with what I...
Happy Turkey (Jones) Day, Let's All Watch Terry Bradshaw Die On The Football Field

Happy Turkey (Jones) Day, Let’s All Watch Terry Bradshaw Die On The Football Field

The following clip was brought to my attention in the same way it was probably brought to your attention: through Bill Simmons’ mailbag. I try not to read it, but I still read it. Go ahead, judge me. Terry Bradshaw’s corpse looks best whilst convulsing, we can surely all agree upon that. The yellow flag...
If This Doesn't Sum Up Being A Cleveland Browns Fan, I Don't Know What Does

If This Doesn’t Sum Up Being A Cleveland Browns Fan, I Don’t Know What Does

It was 4th and 4. The Browns were trailing by a point as the fourth quarter commenced. Pat Shurmur would have punted the ball 100% of the time, but rookie Head Coach, Rob Chudzinski, knew it was time to live up to the hype as an aggressive play-caller, a moment to send a message to...