Cruisin’
The Real Issue Facing Modern Country Music

The Real Issue Facing Modern Country Music

One of the older jokes I know — and I’m sure you have heard it as well — goes like this: if you rewind a country song, your truck starts, your wife returns, and your dog comes back to life. People still recite that joke as though nobody has heard it, just as artists continue to...
Photo Gallery: Burnin' It Down at a Jason Aldean Show

Photo Gallery: Burnin’ It Down at a Jason Aldean Show

Last weekend I went to a country concert in Hartford, Connecticut, co-headlined by Florida Georgia Line and Jason Aldean. The show was really great, though it affirmed my suspicion that being a country star is the easiest job on the planet: you walk out on stage while pyrotechnics augment your presence, sing a couple songs,...
Country Friday: Ask Me If I'm Crusin' To A Florida Georgia Line Show Tomorrow?

Country Friday: Ask Me If I’m Crusin’ To A Florida Georgia Line Show Tomorrow?

That’s right, I’m going to see Tyler Farr, Jason Aldean, and Florida Georgia Line tomorrow night because I’m an American, goddamit. So let’s Cruise together right quick and call it a week. You know, babes getting into trucks with strangers because the strangers couldn’t help themselves so they walked up and said: “Baby you a...
"If Drinking Don't Kill Me (Her Memory Will)" By George Jones Is The Perfect Way To End Your Week

“If Drinking Don’t Kill Me (Her Memory Will)” By George Jones Is The Perfect Way To End Your Week

Guys, it’s Friday. If I’m being honest, I’ve been meaning to chronicle the insanely confusing Toby Keith song, “American Ride,” but have been writing about too much other stuff to get around to it. Like NASCAR races. And Home Run Derbies. And LeBron’s return to Cleveland. So I’m going with a classic. It’s one of...
Some Sights From The NASCAR Camping World RV Sales 301

Some Sights From The NASCAR Camping World RV Sales 301

Yesterday we went to the races. New Hampshire Motor Speedway. All the stars were out. Here is some photographic evidence of our day in heaven.     Anyway, as you can see the World Camping RV 301 was fackin’ awesome. Story to come later in the week.
Cole Swindell's "I Hope You Get Lonely Tonight" Is The One

Cole Swindell’s “I Hope You Get Lonely Tonight” Is The One

Look. I’m drunk. I’d write a lot of words about this song, but I’m not sure it is necessary because it is absolutely the country track of the year. Write it down. Cole Swindell — who I think wrote a bunch of songs for guys like Luke Bryan prior to busting on to the scene...
"A Little Messed Up But We're All Alright": Kenny Chesney's "American Kids" Is Your Independence Day Anthem

“A Little Messed Up But We’re All Alright”: Kenny Chesney’s “American Kids” Is Your Independence Day Anthem

Kenny Chesney has been putting out hot country tracks for the better half of two decades. Chesney has scored smash hits that discuss love, tractors being sexy, show business, drinkin’, small town pride, and college life. Somehow — this being country music, and Chesney being a country superstar — it took until 2014 for him to record a hit...
Toby Keith and Rhett Atkins Perform The Exact Same Song In This Week's RACF

Toby Keith and Rhett Atkins Perform The Exact Same Song In This Week’s RACF

Welcome back to Ricky Automatic’s Country Fridays, an idea I stole from my good friend Cameron McCormick. From here on out we are just going to use the acronym “RACF.”  Every critic of contemporary radio country knocks the genre for the same reason: “they always sing about the same ole shit.” It’s a dumb argument....
Ricky Automatic's Country Fridays: Tyler Farr's "Redneck Crazy" Is Also Really Creepy

Ricky Automatic’s Country Fridays: Tyler Farr’s “Redneck Crazy” Is Also Really Creepy

Last week, we took a humorous look at Scotty McCreery’s McCreepy’s “See You Tonight,” and I took potshots at optimal points in the lyrics. This week, we’ve moved on. And by moved on, I mean we’ve moved on to a different country song. This one depicts abject terrorism on an ex-girlfriend’s world. The song in...
Scotty McCreery's "See You Tonight" Is Really Creepy

Scotty McCreery’s “See You Tonight” Is Really Creepy

If you haven’t noticed before, I am now telling you that I really like radio country. Sure, it’s glorified pop that resembles its ancestry only in the sense that it is music, but radio country is still so much fun. In particular, they say ridiculous things that are delightful to dissect on a level they were...
Road To Brazil - First Stop: Atlanta Blade Show

Road To Brazil – First Stop: Atlanta Blade Show

Every year, thousands of people gather from all over the world for the biggest knife show in the world. Where else to have a knife show but in the heart of the South: Atlanta, Georgia. Why am I stopping here on my way to the World Cup? Because I work as an interpreter for some of the best...
Florida Georgia Line's "Cruise" Has Its Own Wikipedia Page, So Let's Read It Now

Florida Georgia Line’s “Cruise” Has Its Own Wikipedia Page, So Let’s Read It Now

It would not be entirely false to say that this blog would not exist without the hottest radio country jam ever recorded. I will spare you the details, but let’s just say Lil’ Roro and Ricky Automatic did most of their man-bonding to a Cruise-themed soundtrack. And when I say “Cruise-themed soundtrack” what I mean...