Fantasy
Baseball Butts: Putting the Fantasy Back into Baseball

Baseball Butts: Putting the Fantasy Back into Baseball

Well spring time is in full swing and that means baseball is back. Or if your life is in anyway similar to mine, baseball just got a hell of a lot more serious. I suppose I should provide a little background. I grew up in small town in Western New York where Red Sox and...
Your Hot Fantasy Tip Of The Week: These Fucking Dudes Have Retired

Your Hot Fantasy Tip Of The Week: These Fucking Dudes Have Retired

Written by MachadosMittens. The other day, my brother and I were sitting in our parents’ living room, drinking beer and staring at our own separate laptops. We are good, modern, American men — none of that talking bullshit flies in our household. Unsurprisingly, we were both looking at baseball statistics. With a chuckle, my younger...
Fantasy Kryptonite: Chris Young

Fantasy Kryptonite: Chris Young

There’s a point in every fantasy draft where you select someone way too high for their value, or bid way too much money for them because you believe that this year, this goddamned year, the dude is going to bust out and rake his way to fantasy gold. This continues year after year with the...
Mark Reynolds Can't Stop Being Mark Reynolds

Mark Reynolds Can’t Stop Being Mark Reynolds

There was a minute there when Mark Reynolds really had us fooled. Not only was he approaching the plate while “Cruise” blared through the speakers at Progressive Field, he was also channeling that beautiful energy into an eye-popping April line: .301/.368/.651 with 8 HR, 22 RBI. He wasn’t just smashing tape-measure home runs,┬áhe was also...
The Highest Paid Clowns in the MLB

The Highest Paid Clowns in the MLB

Look, I’m not interested in bitching about A-Rod’s contract, or Josh Hamilton’s, or Albert Pujols’. I consider that boring. So here is a look at a couple heinous contracts that might fly under the radar. Joe Blanton (6.5 million this year, 8 million in 2014)- My girlfriend recently spent some time with Joe Blanton, and...
Ian Kennedy, You Make Me Want To Roll My Windows Down, and Cruise Into the Pacific Ocean

Ian Kennedy, You Make Me Want To Roll My Windows Down, and Cruise Into the Pacific Ocean

I will be brutally honest: I have never, did not this year, and never will prepare for my fantasy baseball draft. It is very similar to the way I order at a restaurant. After looking at the menu for about fifteen seconds, I put it down, and declare that my ordering will come as a...