Cleveland Indians
I Don't Even Like Baseball

I Don’t Even Like Baseball

Over the past two years I’ve learned a hard truth about baseball. After seasons spent pining for the Cleveland Indians to return to the World Series, they finally got there. I was scared shitless of them facing the Cubs. When they took a commanding 3-1 lead, I was still frightened to my core. If you...
The Cleveland Indians aren't here to make friends

The Cleveland Indians aren’t here to make friends

The New York Yankees were probably feeling pretty fucking cool, what being up 8-3 after five and a half innings. They had knocked out the best pitcher in the American League, homered off him twice, and then went on to hit one more ding dong, off Mike Clevinger. This was the exact moment I began...
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Breaking Up With Chief Wahoo

Breaking Up With Chief Wahoo

I put Chief Wahoo in a box tonight. Four t-shirts, four hats, one windbreaker, and one sweatshirt. I had a moment with each of them, silently recalling the story through which they had been obtained. Just because I was being sentimental does not mean it was difficult. It was not difficult. It started earlier this...
Lonnie Chisenhall Drives The Bus

Lonnie Chisenhall Drives The Bus

After Lonnie Chisenhall clubbed a go-ahead, two-run double off of All-Star closer Greg Holland in the top of the tenth inning last night, he drove the bus. Though the Indians and Royals did not get to finish the contest — it will be resumed in Cleveland on September 22 with the Indians leading 4-2 in...
Cody Allen's Lethal One-Two Punch

Cody Allen’s Lethal One-Two Punch

Cody Allen flew through the Indians minor league system with no regard for human life. Or, at least, he did so without regard for the other pitchers he was competing with to get to the big leagues, as he made his MLB debut just 13 months after he signed his first professional contract. Some guys...
Your 2014 Cleveland Indians Summed Up By One Ryan Raburn "Throw"

Your 2014 Cleveland Indians Summed Up By One Ryan Raburn “Throw”

Guys, remember how everything is turning up roses in Cleveland right now? How the Cavs signed the best basketball player in the world, the same guy that left their team four years ago, igniting jersey-burning-sessions galore? How the Browns drafted a second-string quarterback who just might be the second-coming of Ryan Leaf (though Manziel, unlike...
Nick Swisher Hit A Walk-Off Grand Slam, So Let's Watch It and Other Game-Winning Slams Hit By Cleveland Indians

Nick Swisher Hit A Walk-Off Grand Slam, So Let’s Watch It and Other Game-Winning Slams Hit By Cleveland Indians

Nick Swisher hit a walk-off grand slam this afternoon in the tenth inning of a game the Indians trailed 3-1. After Scott Atchinson gave up a ground ball, two-run single with two outs in the top of tenth, the Indians went to work in the bottom half of the inning against an unlikely adversary. Ernesto Frieri...
Tom Hamilton Ranted About The Ladies At Arizona State University This Afternoon

Tom Hamilton Ranted About The Ladies At Arizona State University This Afternoon

I was listening to the Indians game this afternoon when Tom Hamilton — who routinely puts the “America” in “United States of America”¬†— and his soft-spoken-sidekick, Jim Rosenhaus, had an eyebrow-raising exchange about the babes that attend Arizona State. I am bad with technology so I have transcribed the entire conversation for your viewing pleasure...
The Cleveland Indians Can't Play Defense And It's Costing Them Games

The Cleveland Indians Can’t Play Defense And It’s Costing Them Games

Last week was the best of the Indians season, as they swept the Tigers and won back-to-back 13-inning games. They went on to split with the Orioles at Camden Yards. That stretch obscured what has become increasingly obvious over the first seven weeks of the season: the Tribe’s defense is all kinds of inept. According...
The Jackass Who Designed The Cleveland Indians Online Shop May Want to Check Out The Team's Roster

The Jackass Who Designed The Cleveland Indians Online Shop May Want to Check Out The Team’s Roster

  Justin Masterson, check. Carlos Santana, word. Asdrubal Cabrera? Sure. Nick Swisher, of course. Michael Bourn, alright. Mark Reynolds… Oh, just Mark Reynolds casually backhanding a ball. Well, golly gee, I know he got DFA’d and everything because he strikes out as though he were Mark Reynolds, but Mark Reynolds should probably remain on this...
Let's Not Be Happy the Indians are Here, Let's Be Excited To Watch Them Get It Done

Let’s Not Be Happy the Indians are Here, Let’s Be Excited To Watch Them Get It Done

Two years ago, I watched the NFC Championship at the house of a friend and his family. They are diehard 49ers fans. Not the “diehards” you see nowadays wearing Colin Kaepernick jerseys, but the diehards who would love nothing more than to discuss the virtues of Jim Druckenmiller. The 49ers lost a heartbreaker that day...