Cleveland Indians
Chris Perez: The Uncanny Clown Show

Chris Perez: The Uncanny Clown Show

I tapped my phone. The Angels were fucking everything up. The Indians were safely ahead, cruising to their seventh straight victory. They needed the Angels to beat the Rangers to obtain a commanding two game lead in the wild card standings. Then a 6-1 lead became a 6-2 lead. Then 6-3. My curiosity got the...
Jason Kipnis Wins Personal World Series In Seventh Inning, Jason Giambi Wins Game In Ninth

Jason Kipnis Wins Personal World Series In Seventh Inning, Jason Giambi Wins Game In Ninth

Introducing: The Kip Flip. Yes, Jason Kipnis gave the Indians a 3-2 lead with a base knock in the seventh inning. No, it did not win the game, or the World Series. But, to Kipnis, it was worthy of a severe bat-flip. And if #22 is into it, you know Ricky and Roro are on...
Indians Fan Snags Scorcher, Exclaims, "Fuckin' A!"

Indians Fan Snags Scorcher, Exclaims, “Fuckin’ A!”

If the Indians’ poor defense needs some inspiration, they needn’t look far — tonight, one of their fans made the Progressive Field Grab of the Year: We ¬†could all be politically correct and pretend that it is insignificant that the fan is old enough to be a grandmother, and short enough to make Jose Altuve...
A Taste Of Jonah Keri Driving Me Fucking Nuts

A Taste Of Jonah Keri Driving Me Fucking Nuts

Jonah Keri has found a special place in my heart with his power rankings that seem to highlight different teams without rhyme nor reason. This week, he highlighted the Cardinals and Astros, and ranked them 5th and 30th, respectively. I’m not here to gripe about where those teams were ranked, or the fact that Keri...
Watch Yan Gomes Throw Out Base-Runners Foolishly Trying To Steal Bases

Watch Yan Gomes Throw Out Base-Runners Foolishly Trying To Steal Bases

Yan Gomes, this Brian McKnight song is dedicated to you. 1. You’re like a dream come true. 2. I only want to be with you. 3. (Yan) it’s plain to see, you’re the only one for me. 4. Repeat steps one through three. 5. Make you fall in love with me. And, Yan Gomes, if...
Despite Shit-Show Outing, MLB.TV Claims Chris Perez "Slammed the Door" On the Orioles

Despite Shit-Show Outing, MLB.TV Claims Chris Perez “Slammed the Door” On the Orioles

  Disregard the 26 pitches, the three earned runs, and the four times that Orioles’ hitters smashed batting-practice-drives off of him — Chris Perez shut the door against the Orioles tonight. No, he slammed it shut. Chris Perez slammed the door, getting Chris Davis “on a weak groundout for the final out of the ballgame”....
Only Chris Perez Could Inspire This Exchange of Texts

Only Chris Perez Could Inspire This Exchange of Texts

Ricky: Chris Perez haas not recorded an out. and given up three runs. (6:55 pm) Ricky: struck ou6t next two guys and now tito is letting him pitch to chris davis,. despite the fact that the lefty is ready Ricky: THE LEFTY IS READY RORO Ricky: And davis hit a 150 mph line drive into...
Ubaldo Jimenez Is A Serviceable Nightmare

Ubaldo Jimenez Is A Serviceable Nightmare

If you are an Indians fan and extremely masochistic, or just a baseball fan who wants to have a good laugh, please take a look at Ubaldo Jimenez’s game log. This fucking guy. I live in Oakland, CA. I work in San Francisco, CA. For those of you unfamiliar with just how close the two...
Only In Disneyland: Angels and Indians Square Off In Battle of Futility, Angels Win By Losing

Only In Disneyland: Angels and Indians Square Off In Battle of Futility, Angels Win By Losing

If you missed the 14-inning affair between the Indians and Angels on Tuesday night, then congratulations, you are a human being. If you were one of the nine creatures with opposable thumbs who suffered through the game, then you were witness to something that no living organism should have had to endure. The two teams...
The Indians Suck.

The Indians Suck.

I wish I could say I am excited for football season, but football season is when I watch the Cleveland Browns play every Sunday. Sometimes they have a bye week. They never, ever play on Monday, Thursday, or any other day of the week. The Indians are killing me. My insides are outside. I’m not...
Pretend to Listen, Talk About Mother's Cancer: A Day In The Life of an Indians Fan

Pretend to Listen, Talk About Mother’s Cancer: A Day In The Life of an Indians Fan

3:04 am: I wake up. My back hurts. It often does these days because I have a ten pound beer belly (those are my doctor’s words, not mine) and my abdominal muscles are akin to jelly donuts, though they cannot taste as good. So I get up, take some ibuprofen, and remember that there might...
An Umpire Blew A Call On Monday Night, And It Didn't Happen At Fenway Park

An Umpire Blew A Call On Monday Night, And It Didn’t Happen At Fenway Park

While tears and rain were falling in Boston, the Cleveland Indians had a far worse call go against them. It did not decide the outcome of the game, however, and, more importantly, if a blown call happens in Cleveland, did it really happen? Unfortunately, mlb.com seemingly selects at random which of their videos that one...