Musings
Don't Get Too Excited, But the Giants Totally, Really Suck

Don’t Get Too Excited, But the Giants Totally, Really Suck

Sometimes I forget to check the standings for a week or so, or I just forget to look at the NL West standings, because I generally assume that all teams in that division are below .500. Think I’m joking? I thought I was too, but it turns out I’m wrong: HOLD THE PHONE AND BAILAMOS!...
"Black Guys In Blake Shelton Boys Round Here Video" and Other Things People Have Googled to Find the Clown Show

“Black Guys In Blake Shelton Boys Round Here Video” and Other Things People Have Googled to Find the Clown Show

  We might not have the coolest blog on earth, but we do have the most ridiculously interesting page of “Search Engine Terms” that a blog could have in just one short month. Here is the unabridged list of search terms that led people our blog. (All entries, are, of course, sic) “blake shelton chew...
The Club Can't Even Handle Me Right Now: An American Classic

The Club Can’t Even Handle Me Right Now: An American Classic

After yet another subpar match on the tennis court, my girlfriend and I went home and did what all Americans would do: listened to Flo-Rida’s 2010 smash-hit, “Club Can’t Handle Me.” It bumped. She danced. I sat down to write something about the glory that is the track. No, folks, this entry has nothing to...
Chris Davis Brings Buck Showalter Tears of Happiness

Chris Davis Brings Buck Showalter Tears of Happiness

I guess when your guy Chris Davis is  busy crushing his 30th homer before Independence day, these are the kinds of faces you make. Let’s see if this video helps Orioles fans make the same face: What is amazing to me, is that half of these home runs are on pitches that just aren’t bad....
These Are Lou Gehrig's Testicles

These Are Lou Gehrig’s Testicles

And they played more consecutive baseball games than you ever will.
Manny Ramirez is Long Gone, Just Like an Ex-girlfriend That Will Never Return

Manny Ramirez is Long Gone, Just Like an Ex-girlfriend That Will Never Return

Friends, I bring sad tidings. Manny Ramirez, in every way this site’s spirit animal, is leaving Taiwanese baseball. I know, I know. How bright his sweet light shined, and oh how quickly it should fade into the great night, until it is one with the moon; a perfect orb traveling ceaselessly – seamed, parabolic. He...
The Coliseum Filled with Shit Yesterday, and I'm Not Talking About the M's Bullpen

The Coliseum Filled with Shit Yesterday, and I’m Not Talking About the M’s Bullpen

Unfortunately, the sell out crowd for the A’s – Mariners game on Sunday “overloaded” the sewage system in the Coliseum, causing raw waste to seep into the clubhouses of both teams. How a 6 day home stand with only one sell out could overload a stadium’s sewage system is beyond me, but supposedly this is...
Rumble in the Ravine

Rumble in the Ravine

What a treat it is when two teams get together to play a nice friendly intra-division game and instead end up brawling like it’s 1987. Last night the Dodgers and Dbacks did just that, supplying us with many captivating moments: coaches almost coming to fisticuffs, Yasiel Puig getting hit in the nose by a pitch...
Yet Another Example of Dusty Baker Being the All Time Worst Manager to Pitch for, Ever, In the History of the World

Yet Another Example of Dusty Baker Being the All Time Worst Manager to Pitch for, Ever, In the History of the World

Well, well, well. If it isn’t our old friend Dusty, up to his old tricks. Well publicized is Mr. Baker ruining the promising careers of young aces through overuse, especially during his Chicago days with Kerry Wood and Mark Prior (Let’s have Wood throw 120-plus pitches in 13 games!). But Dusty Baker also has a...
Ike Davis Sent Down to AAA, Will Assume Bat Boy Duties

Ike Davis Sent Down to AAA, Will Assume Bat Boy Duties

In a long foreseen, benignly tragic, and altogether merciful turn of events, Ike Davis of the New York Mets has been sent down to Triple A Las Vegas to assume bat boy duties until he is ready to possibly regain his spot as the Met’s starting first basemen. “It was a very hard decision,” said...
What It Feels Like To Get Kicked in the Nuts For 8 Straight Days, or Being An Indians Fan

What It Feels Like To Get Kicked in the Nuts For 8 Straight Days, or Being An Indians Fan

As Joe Nathan euthanized the Indians tonight on nine pitches, stretching the Indians slide to eight losses in a row, I couldn’t help but think back to the best summation of being an Indians fan I ever heard. You see, I’m a bit of a bandwagon Indians fan. How is that possible? Well, you’re right,...
The Highest Paid Clowns in the MLB

The Highest Paid Clowns in the MLB

Look, I’m not interested in bitching about A-Rod’s contract, or Josh Hamilton’s, or Albert Pujols’. I consider that boring. So here is a look at a couple heinous contracts that might fly under the radar. Joe Blanton (6.5 million this year, 8 million in 2014)- My girlfriend recently spent some time with Joe Blanton, and...