Ramblings
Deadspin Really Doesn't Understand How Baseball Works

Deadspin Really Doesn’t Understand How Baseball Works

Last week Deadspin highlighted an adventure Corey Dickerson had on the base paths. The post was titled “Corey Dickerson Boned Himself Out Of An Inside-The-Park Home Run,” and granted, that sounds more interesting than what actually happened: after he hit a triple, the ball squirted away from Brewers’ third baseman Aramis Ramirez and Dickerson tried...
2014 MLB Drunk Season Preview: NL East, That Division With All The Clowns

2014 MLB Drunk Season Preview: NL East, That Division With All The Clowns

Would you rather: A) Read an MLB season preview written by sober baseball nerds? B) Read an MLB season preview written by drunk baseball nerds? If you answered A), you might have better luck here, or here. If you answered B), or for some reason clicked on those links and still find yourself reading this, then buckle...
The 2014 Sprite Slam Drunk Contest

The 2014 Sprite Slam Drunk Contest

The dunk contest. Please, god, let it be better than it has been. I have this bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. It could be my hangover that has now made it all the way until 10:45 PM. It could be the chili I just ate. But it’s actually dread. I’m dreading the...
You Might As Well Be Watching John Berry's Music Video, "Kiss Me In The Car"

You Might As Well Be Watching John Berry’s Music Video, “Kiss Me In The Car”

KISS HIM IN THE CAR. DO IT NOW. It’s just an innocent kiss, with zero expectations of sex. KISS HIM IN THE CAR. PLEASE? Is that Courteney Cox? Serious question, though. KISS HIM IN THE CAR, COURTENEY. YOUR NAME IS SPELLED WEIRD AND I JUST LEARNED THAT VIA GOOGLE. Why are the kids so involved...
The Jackass Who Designed The Cleveland Indians Online Shop May Want to Check Out The Team's Roster

The Jackass Who Designed The Cleveland Indians Online Shop May Want to Check Out The Team’s Roster

  Justin Masterson, check. Carlos Santana, word. Asdrubal Cabrera? Sure. Nick Swisher, of course. Michael Bourn, alright. Mark Reynolds… Oh, just Mark Reynolds casually backhanding a ball. Well, golly gee, I know he got DFA’d and everything because he strikes out as though he were Mark Reynolds, but Mark Reynolds should probably remain on this...
Neither "Breaking Bad," Nor the Cleveland Indians Will Be Playing In October

Neither “Breaking Bad,” Nor the Cleveland Indians Will Be Playing In October

Warning: this may contain spoilers about how the Indians season ends up.  As AMC’s Breaking Bad mercifully draws near its inevitably tragic ending, the Indians do the same. In fact, both seasons are scheduled to end on Sunday, September 29th. This cannot be a coincidence. Depending on the day, the Indians remind me of several different...
The MLB's New Instant Replay System Is Almost As Exciting As Our Own

The MLB’s New Instant Replay System Is Almost As Exciting As Our Own

You have probably already heard about Bud Selig’s latest attempt to ruin baseball, once and for all. Selig and his cronies are close to implementing a replay system in 2014 that resembles the one used in the NFL, complete with coaches having the power to challenge calls on the field. No word yet on whether...
I Really Love Hotels and You Are An Idiot If You Don't

I Really Love Hotels and You Are An Idiot If You Don’t

If I could live in a hotel every night of my life, I would. Often people give me a funny look when this revelation rears its head. What’s not to like? Here are five reasons why hotels are my favorite: 1. Ice & Air-Conditioning: I stayed in either a Super 8, Motel 6, Day’s Inn, or one...
How "Giants Fans" Ruined My Life: A Friday Night at AT&T Park

How “Giants Fans” Ruined My Life: A Friday Night at AT&T Park

Everything was going fine until I saw the idiot in the customized Derek Jeter Giants jersey-shirt. I was about thirty dollars into my beers so, it took me a second, but holy shit, that guy was actually wearing a customized Derek Jeter Giants jersey-shirt. There are only three ways this man could have obtained such...
I Don't Give A Fuck Who Is Taking Steroids, And You Shouldn't Either

I Don’t Give A Fuck Who Is Taking Steroids, And You Shouldn’t Either

Ryan Braun’s scowling face has been making the rounds with all the usual suspects: espn.com, Yahoo! Sports, mlb.com, and many more of your favorite destinations for sporting news. The collective reaction has been monotonous, even boring: “Braun Spun Web Of Deceit”, “A Pariah In The Game”, and “Ryan Braun’s Inconvenient Truth” are all headlines that...