Ricky Automatic
I'LL SHOW YOU SOME FOOTBALL

I’LL SHOW YOU SOME FOOTBALL

  Oh, you wanna see the sport of football summed up in one GIF? Why don’t we run this one — an incomplete pass on a 3rd & 4 that had little effect on the outcome of this Bengals-Colts game from yesterday? BLITZ UP THE MIDDLE, DUDE HITS ANDREW LUCK IN THE RIB CAGE, TY...
Martavis Bryant Tried So Damn Hard To Tackle Antonio Brown Last Night

Martavis Bryant Tried So Damn Hard To Tackle Antonio Brown Last Night

So this happened last night:   Hey, little boy! LITTLE BOY.
Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie High Steps Thirty Yards, Has Pick 6 Called Back

Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie High Steps Thirty Yards, Has Pick 6 Called Back

      This one didn’t count because some Giants player knocked over Zach Mettenberger for absolutely no reason, long after the pass had already been picked off. But it will always count in our hearts and minds, because Dominic Rodgers-Cromartie just swaggered through a 6.0, 30-yard dash as though it were going out of style....
Stephen Curry And The Warriors Are Out Here Clowning On Fools

Stephen Curry And The Warriors Are Out Here Clowning On Fools

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: if Stephen Curry isn’t your favorite basketball player, we can’t be friends. He and the Warriors are off to a comical 16-2 start, have won 11 in a row, and are making a downright mockery of teams like Anthony Davis and the New Orleans Pelicans:  ...
Mike Pettine Thinks Billy Cundiff Has Big Leg, Wasn't Worried About Devin Hester Lurking In End Zone (x2)

Mike Pettine Thinks Billy Cundiff Has Big Leg, Wasn’t Worried About Devin Hester Lurking In End Zone (x2)

The 2014 Cleveland Browns have now played four different games that ended on a last-second field goal. They are 2-2 on such occasions. They have been blown out by two sub-.500 teams from the AFC South. They rank in the bottom half of the NFL in team defense (DVOA), and team offense (weighted offense). They...
The American Male Id, Personified

The American Male Id, Personified

Note: this is supposed to be a GIF, but Word Press sucks and I refuse to keep trying. Good day.  
Sam Hunt's R&B Album Is #1 On The Country Charts

Sam Hunt’s R&B Album Is #1 On The Country Charts

I really do not care how the Billboard, or anybody else, classifies genres of music anymore. I mean that in all senses: it is both irrelevant to my life, and I do not think we should be upset by Sam Hunt — and, until recently, Taylor Swift — being considered a country music artist. I recently saw...
FOOTBALL: Kyle Jefferson Gets Knocked Out In 2007

FOOTBALL: Kyle Jefferson Gets Knocked Out In 2007

This happened in 2007 and I haven’t stopped watching it since (be sure to turn the volume way up so you can hate me later): Why do we watch football, again? Don’t worry, the dude survived, I think. And he can probably write his name on a piece of paper without getting a migraine, sweating,...
Andy Dalton Mic'd Up Was Fucking Incredible

Andy Dalton Mic’d Up Was Fucking Incredible

“Everyone just chill,” is exactly what I expect Andy Dalton to be saying in his motivational speeches on the sideline. Some genius on Twitter weighed in: Bad NFL lip reading doesn’t even need to do a voice over for that version of Andy Dalton mic’d up. That was impeccable. — TheClownShow (@The_Clown_Show) November 7, 2014 Brilliant...
Country Rapper Colt Ford Confuses My Emotions

Country Rapper Colt Ford Confuses My Emotions

Like so many of Nashville’s finest, Colt Ford is most famous for somebody else’s version of a song that he wrote. Yes, Colt Ford and his buddy — the now-famous Brantley Gilbert — penned “Dirt Road Anthem” in 2008. They recorded it, too, but nobody listened because it kind of sucked. This is their version of the...
Why.

Why.

Take every player in MLB since 1967, that is not an anglo saxon white American, and remove them. How on earth is that the same game? — Curt Schilling (@gehrig38) November 4, 2014 So many questions. So little idea of what the fuck Curt Schilling is talking about.
NFL MIDSEASON DRUNK POWER RANKINGS (ALL CAPS)

NFL MIDSEASON DRUNK POWER RANKINGS (ALL CAPS)

We are now 50% of the way through the football season which means the Browns are just 25% of the way through losing twelve games. I’m 50% of the way through my third beer which means I’m 150% drunk. It’s time to power rank the NFL teams. As always, I am doing this without any resources other...