White People Stuff
THE 2014 GILLETTE HOME RUN DERBY SPONSORED BY GILLETTE

THE 2014 GILLETTE HOME RUN DERBY SPONSORED BY GILLETTE

Fair warning! The following is the most uninspiring, useless recap of the most uninspiring, useless thing ever created. If you want to have a dandy old time, go ahead and read last year’s Home Run Derby Recap, written by Lil’ Roro. It’s golden and even includes pictures. Like this one:  8:00: Hey! We’ve begun the...
I Am Delusional, Believe US Can Beat Germany & Some Other Thursday Notes

I Am Delusional, Believe US Can Beat Germany & Some Other Thursday Notes

I know nothing about soccer. I can name about eight players on the USMNT. I hate that that is true, unlike other unapologetic American sportswriters. I wish I knew lots about soccer and watched it all the time. It’s similar to the way I feel about hockey. The truth is, those two goal-oriented sports have...
2014 MLB Drunk Season Preview: AL East, That Overrated Division

2014 MLB Drunk Season Preview: AL East, That Overrated Division

Would you rather: A) Read an MLB season preview written by sober baseball nerds? B) Read an MLB season preview written by drunk baseball nerds? If you answered A), you might have better luck here, or here. If you answered B), or for some reason clicked on those links and still find yourself reading this, then buckle...
The Road to the Barre Auditorium

The Road to the Barre Auditorium

As the girls spilled off the bench and onto the court, we stood and applauded. They met their teammates at half court for one of those impromptu pig piles that look so pre-rehearsed. The coaches embraced. The team managers cried. I couldn’t help but laugh. If you would have told me eight years ago when...
Some Shameless Propaganda To Get You Fired Up For the USA-Canada Showdown

Some Shameless Propaganda To Get You Fired Up For the USA-Canada Showdown

Our national hockey team is taking on Team Canada in a couple of hours, and you need to call in sick (or watch from your desk), tie American flag bandanas around your head, paint your face red, white and blue, and start drinking American beers at 11:45 am for this one: it’s going to be...
Google Reviews Of Augusta National Are A Real Hoot

Google Reviews Of Augusta National Are A Real Hoot

This morning I Googled “Augusta National.” There was the home page, a Masters home page, a Wikipedia page: the usual suspects. There was also 45 Google reviews of the most elitist outfit in the world. I did what any unemployed sports fan would do: I read them all. Some of them were even written by...