I have to be honest with you. I fell for the Colt McCoy thing. I vividly remember him scrambling, keeping a play alive, getting to the outside against the Patriots defense and turning it into a 20+ 16-yard rushing touchdown. The dash culminated with an inspired headfirst dive, McCoy fully extending his arms, and the ball, to touch the pylon. 

Listen to that announcer! “He’s a good enough athlete to make it happen — watch him extend right there! This will get your teammates fired up, and this will get your teammates believin’ that you could be the quarterback here in Cleveland!” I remember that well. I was believin’ myself, particularly after McCoy finished off the decisive 34-14 victory over the Patriots.

But what I remember most about that day — and about that 2010 season — is one sentence, uttered to me over, and over:

“Colt is such a wee-ner.” 

That, of course, is southern-talk for, “Colt McCoy is a winner.”

You see, I was living in Austin, Texas that fall, and each Sunday I would seek out bars where I could watch Browns games. Colt had been drafted by Cleveland the previous spring, and many Longhorn fans had become bandwagon Browns fans. (It is important to note that many, if not most, Texas fans do not identify with a single NFL team, as they channel all of their energy as football fans toward cheering for the ‘Horns). They showed up in droves, sporting brown McCoy jerseys and burnt orange Longhorn hats. And the two times the Browns won that year with Colt under center, these bandwagoners would lean over their Lone Star beers, get a serious look on their face, and mutter, in hushed tones:

“That Colt McCoy is such a wee-ner.” 

Their heads would bob downward and their eyes would get closer together as they emphasized the last word. Picture a shitfaced, overweight George W. Bush saying this sentence and you will have a good idea of what I was dealing with:

“Colt is such a wee-ner.” 

And I wanted to believe it! I did believe it. Somehow I bought into this shitstorm of emotion. I thought, “Yeah, maybe Colt McCoy is a winner, and the Browns are such losers that they have to get a little bit better as a team before he can prove that in the NFL.”

As it turned out, nearly every NFL coach and GM that evaluated Colt McCoy thereafter ultimately decided that he is probably not a winner. He has instead been a steady presence on NFL sidelines, holding a clipboard, wearing a baseball cap that either said “Browns,” “49ers,” or “Redskins.” So when Colt McCoy polished off the rust yesterday against the Tennessee Titans — and it’s definitely worth mentioning that it was against the Tennessee Titans — it was enough for the Redskins to name him next week’s starting quarterback. As soon as this happened, I knew what I had to do. I had to conduct a Twitter search: “Colt McCoy winner.”

Here it is, folks:

It is important to note that this is a seriously limited sampling of the resulting tweets from such a search. It is also important to note that these people are wrong: Colt was a winner in college because he played for a powerhouse program that was still good back then.

Those other Longhorn fans — the ones that watched Browns games with me — unwittingly had it right: Colt McCoy is, actually, a wiener.

And I can’t think of a more fitting franchise for him to lose football games for.