It would not be entirely false to say that this blog would not exist without the hottest radio country jam ever recorded. I will spare you the details, but let’s just say Lil’ Roro and Ricky Automatic did most of their man-bonding to a Cruise-themed soundtrack. And when I say “Cruise-themed soundtrack” what I mean is, we played Cruise on loop every time we got into an automobile, but especially after having bowled.

We would take off the bowling shoes, shake off the bowling buzz, and saunter onto the mean streets street of Albany, CA. We would climb into our friend Yui’s car, because we are bums that did not own cars, and immediately grab the AV cord, because Yui is a bum who does not like pop country music. Yui would act like he didn’t approve of what was going to happen next. We would act like we didn’t know that he secretly loved what was about to happen next.

And then we would Cruise.

Baby, you a song

You make me want

to roll my windows down

And Cruise.

But the reason we are here today, faithful readers, is because Ricky had an idea this morning. Ricky had this idea that maybe Cruise had its own Wikipedia page and since Cruise obviously has its own Wikipedia page, Ricky wanted to read Cruise’s Wikipedia page.

Ricky opened up the Wikipedia page. It was glorious. And then it got more glorious. In the “Content” section:

“The song is a mid-tempo in the key of B-flat major with a main chord pattern of B♭-F-Gm7-E♭.[8] It is about an attractive woman with whom the male narrator wants to ‘cruise’ in his car.”

Wikipedia, you are so on point. The most beautiful part of those two extremely beautiful sentences is the ambiguity of the term “cruise,” which is, of course, the point of the song in the first place. Yes, on the surface, these dapper gentlemen run into a beautiful woman “popping out of the south Georgia water,” and they want her to “hop right up into the cab of (their) truck” and “cruise.” This is innocent enough. But it’s almost like cruising symbolizes some deeper interaction, some kind of country foreplay that only country people understand. As in, “let me show you how big and strong my truck is because it’s kind of like my penis, which is something I’d also like to show you. If you’re down.”

This really puts into perspective the line, “fire it up, let’s go get this thing stuck,” doesn’t it?

Anyway, the point is, Wikipedia-ing your favorite song, person, historical event, drug, holiday — it’s all really great, because you often run into germane and scholarly discussion of such things that are not usually spoken of in such a manner.

Or instead of wasting our lives on Wikipedia, maybe we should all put away the mobile devices, tablets, and computers, find a beautiful babe, roll those windows down, and cruise.

C’mon, girl!