Jason Aldean often records songs that are really good. “Dirt Road Anthem,” “When She Says Baby,” “She’s Country,” “Burnin’ It Down,” and “Amarillo Sky” are all sterling examples of such conduct. So when Aldean releases a new single, it merits the attention of the country-listening world. Unfortunately for us, “Sweet Little Somethin'” is flaming-hot pile of excrement (for those scoring at home: four of the first five songs on his newest album, “Old Boots, New Dirt,” contain an apostrophe in lieu of the letter “g,” because you can’t make this stuff up).

You have to listen to this song before we further discuss it:

If it sounds like a pop-up ad and this song are playing simultaneously in your browser, just know that, somehow, that is how the song sounds. Because there is some god-awful, weird-ass electronic bass and drums track playing underneath this cacophonous excuse for a country song. It sounds like one of those Saturday night mixtapes they play on country stations, where the tempo of a beat that appears to be driven by Garageband is loosely aligned with today’s hottest country hits. It is going to be meta when this song is on one of those shows, and they lay a beat underneath the beat that is under the song. Actually, no, it’s just going to be horrendous.

Who mixed this song? Was it a functioning human being? Are they over the age of 20? Were they on ecstasy while pushing the knobs?

Oh, and Jason, if you thought you were making it out of this without having your lyrics called out, think again, mister (I do understand, however, that you wrote exactly zero words in this song). I am not one to play the game known as “all country songs are about the same damn shit,” mostly because I don’t really care, but also because I think the same could be said about most music genres, so I promise to side step all of that nonsense.

The lyrics that concern me are in the refrain at the end of the song:

“I wanna ride you round in my old truck
Keep you out until the sun comes up
Girl, you got some serious
Sweet little somethin’ like you”

It just has a kidnap-y vibe to it, no? Does she want any of these things? Alas, the issue with the content of this song is a common dilemma in most male-driven country music: there is literally zero agency granted to the female in this song. Then again, women country singers seem to have bought in, so I really don’t know what to tell you guys. Maybe the rural universe really does revolve around men and their sexual aspirations. Maybe that girl’s opinion about riding around in Jason’s truck and him keeping her out until the sun comes up is about as important as a September game between the Twins and White Sox.

Happy Country Friday.