Courtesy of wikipedia.org.

When it comes to charity work, Mike Moustakas has been going above and beyond this season.

The Kansas City Royals third baseman has been relentless in helping under-privelaged, opposing teams achieve their goal of winning. Some things you cannot quantify, like the pure effort it takes to repeatedly come up big for opponents in the clutch. However, the results speak for themselves: Moustakas has recorded 4 hits in 64 at-bats with runners in scoring position (RISP), good for a league-leading .063 batting average in those particular circumstances.

“It’s been a great season in terms of helping out opponents. That’s what you have to do as a Major Leaguer. There are a lot of guys who are content getting knocks, and running up the score against helpless opponents, but that’s not how I was taught to play the game of baseball,” Moustakas said in a recent interview. “I’m doing what I can, and so far everybody has been pleased with the results.”

Royals manager, Ned Yost, is one admirer of Moustakas’ charitable nature. “I’ve just been thrilled with Mike’s go-get-us attitude. Most guys you see, they come to the ballpark a few hours before the game, go about their business, and are happy to try and score runs for their own team. Mike has worked very hard to make sure he is not one of those guys.”

The stat that has truly impressed around the league, is Moustakas ability to not drive in runs with two outs and runners in scoring position — in 28 at-bats, he has exactly zero hits.

“That’s when Mike really shines,” hitting coach, George Brett, exclaimed. “It’s one of those situations you see a lot: two outs, a couple guys on, and the face on the opposing pitcher starts to change; he wants that out so bad. Mike is more than happy to make sure it happens, at all costs. The fact that he has not hit safely once, with two outs and men in scoring position, is truly incredible. Not one dying quail, texas-leaguer, or infield hit. Not One.”

In fact, Moustakas has been so effective a weapon for American League foe, there has been some concerned buzz that he won’t be around for much longer.

“A guy like that, you’d figure he’d have a lot to contribute to minor league opponents, as well,” one AL Central manager was quoted as saying. “We just have to enjoy the ride around here while it lasts.”

Perhaps, someday, Moustakas might have to start getting base hits in clutch situations, just don’t tell Moustakas that.

“No way. I’ve worked too hard to get here. I’m not giving up on other teams, yet. And I hope they won’t give up on me.”

The Clown Show would like you to know that all quotes are fake, and all statistics real, and not the other way around.