Last week, we took a humorous look at Scotty McCreery’s McCreepy’s “See You Tonight,” and I took potshots at optimal points in the lyrics. This week, we’ve moved on. And by moved on, I mean we’ve moved on to a different country song. This one depicts abject terrorism on an ex-girlfriend’s world.

The song in question is Tyler Farr’s “Redneck Crazy,” and it is so not okay. Also, as I mentioned in the post about “See You Tonight”: I really like country music and I also like this song. But good lord there are some bad lessons to be learned from these emotional tirades.

Shall we?

 

Gonna drive like hell through your neighborhood
Park this Silverado on your front lawn

Tyler. Tyler. Don’t do that. Your motive seems crystal clear. Also, slow down while you’re driving through her neighborhood. It’s probably late.


Crank up a little Hank,
Sit on the hood and drink

Oh, good. The cops will be like, “No, you know what? Just another dude sitting on his Silverado and drinking on the hood. Let him be. He’s probably only seeking revenge from his ex-girlfriend who is dating this new guy which is totally fine because her and the narrator of the song have broken up.”

I’m about to get my pissed off on

On…? On what? On… wait seriously, are you peeing on something? Or just pissed? How is your “off” “on” something? I’m confused.

I’m gonna lean my headlights into your bedroom windows

Oh, jesus. Well, that’s against the law. At least you’re not doing this while drinking…

Throw empty beer cans at both of your shadows

Tyler, you’re drinking, too?! Tyler. Don’t do that. You have to drive later.

I didn’t come here to start a fight, but I’m up for anything tonight

You… what? You are now pointing your headlights into her bedroom window(s). And throwing empty beer cans onto her lawn. But totally, you’re not here to start a fight. You actions so far have been totally innocuous. And if that motherfucker wants to start a fight, that’s his problem! What an asshole he’d be for doing that.


You know you broke the wrong heart, baby,
And drove me redneck crazy

Does she owe you something? For driving a redneck crazy? I would say this sounds like male entitlement, but I know that doesn’t exist in country music. Have at it, big guy. A girl driving you “redneck crazy” is an excuse to drive onto her front lawn, lean your headlights into her bedroom window and throw empty beer cans at her shadow any day of the week. You might as well throw full beer cans through her window and tell the cops you weren’t there to start a fight. Cuz you weren’t! You said so! 

Wish I knew how long it’s been going on

Oh, shit! I didn’t realize she’d been doing this for awhile. That totally matters. That totally justifies the whole trespassing, littering, and harassment thing. Sorry dude, shoulda given you the benefit of the doubt. Whatta bad person this girl is!


How long you’ve been getting some on the side

You… you just said you knew how long it’s been going on.  This isn’t a question is it? And on the side? Are you dating this girl? It really seems like he’s dating this girl? I wonder if you’re intimidated by this new guy…


Nah, he can’t amount to much by the look of that little truck

HOLD THE PHONE. He has a little truck. And we all know: little truck=little penis. It’s a fact. Never to be denied. Little penises and little trucks go together like parking on your ex-girlfriend’s lawn and throwing empty beer cans onto said lawn.


Well, he won’t be getting any sleep tonight

Jesus, Tyler. What if he has a big test tomorrow? Or work? Or what if he is a person that deserves to get some sleep because he really hasn’t done anything wrong? I think you’re intimidated. I think your self conscious that he’s a better lover than you. I think it’s time to drive home and call it a night, okay?


I’m gonna lean my headlights into your bedroom windows

Goddamit, Tyler. This is getting ridiculous. You already said that. And did that (I think.) Seriously, it’s time to go home. You’ve made your point.


Throw empty beer cans at both of your shadows

This is embarrassing. This has DUI written all over it. Please get a new idea. Also, I think you should really try recycling those cans. It will make you feel better, like you’ve accomplished something today.

I didn’t come here to start a fight, but I’m up for anything tonight

You know, it seems like you did come here to start a fight. In some ways, I hope that’s the case, because if you didn’t — you’re just really stupid. If your whole plan was to sit on the hood of your truck, on her lawn, and watch her have sex with this new guy… I’m worried about you, bud.

You know you broke the wrong heart, baby,
And drove me redneck crazy
Redneck crazy

On the second time around “Redneck Crazy” has a sweet connotation to it. Not worried at all anymore. 

Did you think I’d wish you both the best,

No she really probably didn’t if you always behave like this.

Endless love and happiness?

That’d be really sweet, but you’re clearly a psychotic asshole.


You know that’s just not the kind of man I am

Oh, no. We’ve got a really good idea of what kinda “man” you are.


Yeah, I’m the kind that shows up at your house at 3 A.M.

Oh, wait, sorry. You are totally a man. A really great man that will totally change her mind about the person she’s with. Show up at 3 AM — its sounds like it’s your signature move.

I’m gonna lean my headlights into your bedroom windows
Throw empty beer cans at both of your shadows
I didn’t come here to start a fight,
But I’m up for anything tonight
You’ve gone and broke the wrong heart, baby,
And drove me redneck crazy
You drove me redneck crazy, oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah! Oh yeah.

Tyler, you’re insane. Go home. Get a DD. Be a person. This poor girl has moved on. It kinda seems like maybe you haven’t?

Fuck, bro. You are one crazy redneck.

Here’s the music video. Spoiler alert: there’s a twist!

Nice, bro. You fucking asshole.

 

Cover Image courtesy of Rocky Ridge (I didn’t make that up). 

 

Also, I’d like to give a shout-out to Cameron McCormick, who gave me full-on permission to do “Ricky Automatic’s Country Fridays” as a tribute to something her started on Facebook. He called it — you guessed it — “Cameron McCormick’s Country Fridays.” It was beautiful, as is he.