The San Francisco Giants are 43-26. They are 1.5 games better and a fifteen minute BART ride away from baseball’s second-best team, the Oakland A’s. But while you can often catch us covering the A’s here at the Clown Show — a product of both Lil’ Roro’s fandom and our extreme American League-bias — we rarely cover the Giants. In fact, the only time I can think of us posting about the Giants is when we were writing about how much they sucked last year.

This year they don’t suck, but I really have no idea what changed because I live on the east coast and who really cares bout the NL West? So I passed along ten questions along to the best Giants fan I know. Here are his answers, in an effort to educate us all on a team that does not enjoy a ton of major media attention despite having a real shot at winning three world series in five years (understand that I’m in no way predicting that, however.)


Richie Rich Aurilia (right) stopped by to answer some of our pressing questions about his favorite baseball team.


RickyAutomatic: What’s going on in San Francisco? Are the Giants for real? What changed from last year?

RichieRichAurilia: What’s going on is the Giants are winning lots and lots of baseball games. And they’re very for real.  
Tim Hudson and Michael Morse have been the obvious big changes, although Brandon Crawford’s development and Angel Pagan’s huge year have been just as important. And the bullpen is just nasty. First Hudson. Guy’s 52 years old and leading the league in ERA. He’s got something like a 6:1 strikeout to walk ratio. Also, he made eye contact with me on Thursday and threw me a ball, but apparently the smoking hot girl sitting in front of me thought it was for her.
Mike Morse might be my favorite Giant not named Matt or Buster. All the guy does is rake, and he has tons of fun while doing it. His walkup music is Too Short and he trains with Frank Gore in the offseason, so he’s a great fit here. He also strikes out a lot, but I’ll take the strikeouts when I get home runs in return. We’re not used to home runs in San Francisco, and all of a sudden we see lots of them. The chances of him being on steroids are not slim, but that’s never been a concern in this organization.
Crawford is second on the team in RBI’s, and Pagan’s OBP is somewhere around .750.
Our bullpen is filthy. Jean Machi’s ERA is 0.30 (I think) and Sergio Romo is the man (although he did get blown up last night).
The biggest change is that this lineup is dangerous 1-8, where in the past it was an absolute black hole after the 5-spot. We lengthened the lineup adding Morse, Crawford learning to hit this offseason, and Brandon Hicks hitting 40 jacks despite the fact that he is not a good hitter.
RA: What do you expect from Tim Lincecum every time he goes out?
RRA: The Lincecum thing is hard. All Giants fans have tons of love for the guy because when he was at his best he was the absolute most entertaining spectacle in baseball. That being said, he’s just not a very good pitcher anymore. He’s our fourth starter, and now we expect him to pitch like one. He’ll probably give you six innings, three or four runs, thirteen walks, and nine strikeouts.
He does occasionally bring the old Timmy back, like when he threw that no-hitter in San Diego last year. But even that game was so classic Lincecum. Double-digit strikeouts, four walks, and he hit a guy.
Every year we hear some story in the offseason about how he lost weight and is going to be amazing this year. Or he gained weight, or did yoga, or stopped smoking weed, or whatever. And it just never seems to happen. Not sure it is ever going to happen.
RA: Scale of 0-1, how much do you miss Brian Wilson?
RRA: Brian Wilson is and always has been the worst. Clownshow. Fuck that guy.
RA: Is Marco Scutaro still on the team? Should we care?
Fantastic question. I’m pretty sure he’s on the 40-man, but I have no doubt that his career is done. And no, we shouldn’t care. Brandon Hicks is busy hitting .175 and spraying homers all over the place.
Scutaro was a lot of fun to watch when healthy, and my father still talks longingly about him. But he’s also super old and always hurt (Scutaro, that is). We’ve moved on.
RA: Have there been any deaths during Giants-Dodgers games this year?
RRA: No, but we’re definitely due for one. Give it a few months.
RA: Do you see the Dodgers making a run at your Giants?
RRA: No. Gonzalez, Kemp, and Ethier are all sitting around .250. Dee Gordon, as expected, is falling off big time. Yasiel Puig is doing what he does, but will undoubtedly cause some problems for them. Their catcher — whose name I can’t remember because he’s a nobody — is a nobody and plays like a nobody. And Juan Uribe is the fattest, laziest man in baseball.
Plus, they’re the fucking Dodgers. Fuck them.
RA: Would you rather: wear a Dodgers hat for a week, or drive across the bay bridge and back every time you went somewhere in San Francisco for a month? Be realistic.
RRA: Shocked that you’d even ask me this. Drive across the bay bridge and back wins in a landslide. There’s a lot of shit I’d do before agreeing to wear a Dodgers hat for a week.
RA: Any tears being shed for Candlestick’s impending doom? Has it already been blown up and I just haven’t heard? 
RRA: No. Candlestick is full of history, blah blah blah. But as someone who’s attended sporting events there you should know that it’s also a fucking dump. Absolute shithole. No tears at all. Plus, I recently visited Great America (super run-down theme park in Santa Clara) not realizing that it shares a parking lot with the new Niners stadium. And boy does it look amazing.
No, it has not been blown up. They’re doing a weird farewell thing with a bunch of different events. Montana and Clark playing in a flag football game, Paul McCartney doing the final concert there. Very strange. I have no interest in attending.
RA: Who is your favorite non-Giant baseball player?
RRA: Jason Kipnis, of course.
Even Giants fans know that we are all Kipnises.
Here’s hoping the Giants don’t get to lose to Kipnis and the Indians in the World Series.