KISS HIM IN THE CAR. DO IT NOW.

It’s just an innocent kiss, with zero expectations of sex.

KISS HIM IN THE CAR. PLEASE?

Is that Courteney Cox? Serious question, though.

KISS HIM IN THE CAR, COURTENEY. YOUR NAME IS SPELLED WEIRD AND I JUST LEARNED THAT VIA GOOGLE.

Why are the kids so involved in this video? There are no kids in the song.

DADDY IS GONNA KISS MOMMY IN THE CAR NOW KIDS, YOU ARE WELCOME TO WATCH. OR NOT.

You pick up that land line phone, Courteney. John is going to come sweep you off of your feet with his — get this — CORDLESS TELEPHONE. And you know what he is going to do next, don’t you?

HE’S GONNA KISS YOU IN THE FUCKING CAR.

He is going to take you for a ri-iii-iii-iii-iii-iii-dddd-eee — and despite his holding his guitar as though it were his cock and generally thrusting it like it were his cock, seriously, zero expectations of sex — so kiss him in the car.

KISS HIM IN THE CAR.

Why are there plastic actions figures in the last shot? Are they kissing? They are not in the car. They are on the car. God damn it, you female, plastic action figure, get in the damn car and kiss him.

KISS HIM IN THE CAR.